I once actually thought that when movies and shows were developing, I thought that they were being made within the year of their release date. I didn’t know that these projects were sometimes done in advance or took years to make.
That when ‘Commercial Breaks’ happened during shows, I thought they meant that the actors needed a break before resuming. Not realizing that episodes are already made and commercials just interrupt things to just sell you shit.
When I learned food and drinks were energy for your body, I actually thought that when I got sleepy or tired, I just needed to drink or eat something. Not realizing that it wouldn’t have mattered.
I thought credit/debit cards had infinite money. Not sure how that idea didn’t lead to me doing incredibly stupid things.
I somehow also thought my parents got groceries for free because I didn’t see them giving physical paper money to the cashier. Or I confusingly also thought they were stealing or something, and the cashier just let them.
That adults were intelligent
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Cops are good
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Hard work pays off
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I might own a home someday
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The government isn’t out to get anyone
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People are inherently good
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Drugs are bad
Agree.
Also “crime doesn’t pay”, “you shouldn’t lie” and “we’re a monogamous society and you shouldn’t cheat in a committed long-term relationship.”
Tbh I still kinda believe in the latter, despite knowing it’s a childish fantasy.
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That the future would be better.
I lived in the greatest country in the world and everyone was so jealous of us.
Well that was true for some of us in the past…
- If a lawyer’s client tells them they did it then the lawyer should just turn them in.
- After watching cars commuting in opposite directions, which seemed pointless to me, I thought everyone should just trade jobs so they live where they work.
- I thought girls had ballsacks without the shaft.
- I thought you could make a car that didn’t need gasoline by attaching a magnet to the back and then attaching another magnet with an arm so they repel each other. Imagine my disappointment when I built a prototype and it didn’t work.
I thought girls had ballsacks without the shaft.
Eric Cartman, is that you? There was an episode where he tried to kick a girl in the balls. It did not work.
After watching cars commuting in opposite directions, which seemed pointless to me, I thought everyone should just trade jobs so they live where they work.
Unironically has some truth to it. As someone who feels strongly about minimizing my commute, I am baffled about how many people I have known who have long commutes for no significant reason.
Rarely there will be a reason like “My kids have a better school here”, but often after digging a little I find out someone is actually paying higher rent and commuting 45m+ to a lower rent area because moving is a hassle or some similar motivation. I knew a guy who commuted 3 hours one way in Alaska because he liked having a big yard. Like, when do you see it? You get home and immediately sleep.
Absolutely crazy to me. Never more than 30 minutes again unless I truly have no choice.
I thought you could make a car that didn’t need gasoline by attaching a magnet to the back and then attaching another magnet with an arm so they repel each other. Imagine my disappointment when I built a prototype and it didn’t work.
A perpetual motion machine! I love it!
i do wonder why more people don’t just live where they work, spending and hour or 2 every day just shuffling inbetween work and home never made sense to me.
is it just an affordability thing? if some real estate mogul wasnt a rent-seeking piece of shit and just built a business around building/selling as many quality homes/apartments as possible for a decent profit (instead of maximized extraction at every level, as it is now) wouldn’t more people chose to live closer to work?
I would choose to work closer to where I live, not the other way around unless the only available job was hours away. That said, there are jobs closer to home than my current job, but I think they kinda suck.
Okay so in our case it’s very California-specific. We managed to buy a house (hooray!) after the housing crash. Because of the way California handles property taxes, we will never move unless we decide to leave California for good. If we take a job that is not close to us, too bad, we’re factoring commute into the offer, because we can’t move. My husband seriously considered a job that would require either a 1.5 hour drive or train ride because the money was amazing but ended up taking a much lower-paying WFH job, and the commute was a huge factor.
magnet to the back and then attaching another magnet with an arm so they repel each other
You just invented the Maglev xD
That the world is fair, that here’s good and evil, but no shades of grey.
That people in power do it for the good of the people
Big oof
Thousands of us when we were born, all probably thought the same thing.
And then we grew up, to see how ugly the world is and has been.
I got two for ya:
- When people got injured in movies, such as having a body part chopped off, they found someone who was already missing that body part, surgically reattached a new body part, and then chopped it off for real. Decapitations were played by people on death row.
- When you flush the toilet at night, a scary clown will come out and get you, unless you quickly run and hide under the covers. In my defense, my uncle thought it was funny to tell this to my sisters and me so that we’d scream and cry and run at night while my parents were trying to sleep.
When people got injured in movies, such as having a body part chopped off, they found someone who was already missing that body part, surgically reattached a new body part, and then chopped it off for real.
If I remember the commentary correctly, for the black knight scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, they actually had an actor with one leg in the suit performing once the knight lost a leg, then when he’s on the ground with no legs, they dug a hole to hide the actor’s existing leg. The voiceover is of course seperately recorded and not by the actors in the suit
I believed number 1 as well! I took it even further because I didn’t understand “acting” fully. I thought it was actually that to be a “doctor actor”, you basically just trained to be both and then they followed you around with a camera while you actually did all of those things. So everyone in a show/movie was actually their profession or something close to it.
Deaths were different for me tho. I thought that as an actor, you decided when you died by taking said part. So it was up to each actor to choose the best death scene for themselves because it would be the only one they got. Better actors got offered better deaths while lesser actors only got to die as henchmen and whatnot. There was a whole life insurance/payout idea that played into all of this. But basically I thought actors fought for the prestige of dying on camera in the coolest ways possible.
I didn’t think that they fought for death scenes, but yes. I had a similar thought. Essentially, they were gonna be killed by the Justice system and had to pick how they’d die.
I had similar thoughts to your first point, but I didn’t understand “acting.” So I just thought that a movie doctor was just a doctor who was hired for the movie. When my parents explained that “they’re just pretending,” I understood that not every doctor wanted to be in a movie, so some people had to pretend to fill in the gaps.
Yeah, I basically assumed that if you died as a henchman or something, you had a really bad agent or people just didn’t like you. Only the A-list actors got to have their big moment dying. But I did believe that the payout was enough to take care of your surviving family, which is why people did it. Kinda some weird ass hunger games type idea way before the books ever existed lol
Henchmen who got shot were like a special class of stunt double in my mind. They were paid to get shot and then have surgery and recover just to do it again in another movie. I did think they had a limit to how many “lethal” stunts they could do before they had to retire or go out on one last insane stunt.
I always wanted to be an actor so I could be a sci-fi actor and get to go to space. I thought those were the luckiest people.
I thought shows were actually filmed in the places where they take place
Same! That’s why I wanted to be a sci-fi actor 😂
Oh, and time skips were real! When you saw a flashback or something, that was actually filmed years ago and then they waited until the actors got older and filmed the rest. I assumed there were crazy logistical hurdles to get this to work but it was all real.
Imagine how long it would have taken to film This Is Us
Your uncle is a legend.
Justice, mercy, duty, that sort of thing.
One of those things is not like the others.
Its a line that death says in the Discworld book The Hogfather
All right," said Susan. “I’m not stupid. You’re saying humans need… fantasies to make life bearable.”
REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.
“Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—”
YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.
“So we can believe the big ones?”
YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.
“They’re not the same at all!”
YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME…SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.
“Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what’s the point—”
MY POINT EXACTLY
I miss Terry.
Growing up our backyard neighbors were Buddhists. They had done up their whole yard to be a missive zen garden type deal. Ponds, little rivers between those ponds, a big ol gazebo and sand pit… lowkey a dream backyard. As a child it was a point of endless curiosity over our talk rotting fence. I would try and sneak peeks when I could but it was an ongoing mystery to me because our yard was muddy and ugly.
When I was young, like >7, sometimes if I did something bad my parents would lift me up and carry me to the fence yelling that they were going to feed me to the budda people.
Naturally, I was fucking terrified of Buddhists. It wasn’t until I was maybe 15 or so when we learned about them in school that I realized Buddhists aren’t actually cannibals.
Tldr Buddhists are cannibals
When I was young, like >7,
I’m sorry, couldn’t help myself… Do you mean <7?
Nah they still get threatened like that by their parents
Yeah I was high when I typed this, I was like 4-7ish years old
That’s hilarious! Reading this I can’t tell if your parents were pulling your leg or horribly racist. Please tell us your parents have a sense of humor.
Buddhists are NOT cannibals.
Close, they just have a great sense of humor AND they’re racist! 😃
I believed that one day I would find myself in a situation where I would have to save myself or a friend from being buried in quicksand.
Until I was about 5, I believed all dogs were boys and all cats were girls.
I just posted the same!
That was a lie propagated by parrots.
I thought they killed actors for the scene. Someone just needed to be sacrificed, apparently. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
That everyone secretly wants to be a girl.
- I thought all women had balls.
- Testicles act as urine tanks.
- Sex is a procedure done in a hospital, under the supervision of doctors. A couple goes to a hospital to perform sex when they plan on having a baby.
- Penetrative sex involves parting butt cheeks and “dropping the penis in”. This was my first wet dream lmfao, where I was “dropping my dick” in a hot friend. Except, the friend was a boy and so was I.
- Thinking I was straight.
(Clearly, I got access to porn quite late, and sex Ed didn’t exist at school or home)
This reminds me of how when I first learned about bottom surgery at 5 or so, I thought that you’d get someone who wants a penis and someone who wants a vulva, cut off their genitalia and then just swap it. Another thing is that I thought surgeons used scissors, not scalpels, to cut into their patients.
