I got divorced like 5 months ago after a 9 years with this girl who cheated on me, emotionally abused me, etc etc
I’ve been suicidal since the split, getting worse by the day still, and literally nobody ever asked if I was OK, aside from my mom. Even when I begged close friends for support they basically just ghosted me. My ex is surrounded by support, from the same people who I thought were my best friends.
Do I just have shitty people around me or is this just what guys deal with? The attitude towards me is just “get over it”. I’ve lost almost everyone I’m close to because of this and I’m starting to think there might actually be one viable option of getting over it because existing is simply torture. All of 2025 felt like just a bad dream but it’s unfortunately real.
Edit: Yes I have a counselor - a very good one I see weekly.
Unfortunately, your ex may just be better at playing the victim. And if you’re US based, our legal system leans heavily in support of the ex-wife. Especially in the south east.
I know it’s a cliche bit of advice at this point but you should seek therapy. I know that isn’t the same as support from family and friends but based on how you seem to feel triage is what you need to aim for.
There are support groups for divorced men. I highly recommend selling them out. And if you just need to vent you can DM me. I can’t promise to be constant, but I don’t mind chatting when I can.
I have a very good therapist right now, the best I’ve ever had, and he’s helped me a fuck ton.
But I’m afraid I don’t have a mental health issue and the thoughts of suicide come from a place of logic.
It may seem that way, but speaking as someone who has suffered a variety of health conditions, as well as anxiety and depression, what seems logical at the moment could very well not be. Your brain can actively work against your best interest in times of extreme stress.
You’re likely in a bad headspace right now, so I’d advise to keep working with your counselor/therapist and discuss this with them.
Also, maybe trite, but things will not always be this bad, but it will if things end for you now. Hang in there if you can. Not judging, I know what it’s like for life to suck so bad you’d rather it be over. I got through that period and I hope you do as well.
Hey, I recognize you from some of the memes you’ve posted and I appreciate them.
Can relate to most of what you have said in this thread and yeah… Understandable.
Still, there is more to life than other people. What about you, what you like and what you care about? Maybe now’s a good time to be selfish and enjoy things just for you.
I will post more memes because of your compliment :)
That’s what I have been working on in therapy. I think I never fully focused on myself in my relationship and that’s why I’m so devastated. She was my only emotional support system
Abusive relationships tend to be like that. Now you’re free and can make up for lost time. There’s too much good music/movies/food/video games/nature to enjoy to let it go to waste. DM if you ever need someone to chat about it with.
Thanks.
There’s no logical reason to clock out early. It stops you from future happiness, prohibits any form of personal growth, and deprives those that appreciate you in their lives of you. It’s a permanent solution for temporary problems.
I’m glad to hear you’re utilizing therapy. It’s a good tool for self maintenance.
And I wouldn’t say you have a mental health issue. You have an emotional health issue. What happened to you sucks. I went through a few of your posts to make sure I wasn’t calling for someone just wanting to create engagement. The fact that it’s a small town and you see her everywhere you go also sucks.
I’d recommend maybe moving if it’s feasible. Definitely take a bit of a vacation. Maybe go camping. Check and see if there’s any retreats going on. Maybe you can get in on some form of group camp outing and make some new friends. Or at the very least meet new people who aren’t part of your day to day.
I am sorry to say that there is no logic behind suicide.
Logically speaking - that is, without emotions - death is not inherently better than life. There is no logical value added by death. You don’t need to choose to live, it just happens on its own. Trust me, it’s surprisingly hard to just wither away. The body doesn’t want to stop.
You would need to choose to die. If it is not inherently better to die than to live, then it is illogical to choose to do something that you do not have any reason to do.
It is only emotion that changes the equation. Emotionally speaking, it sounds like you currently feel that death would be better than life.
But it does not sound like you wanted to die before this year. At least, not nearly like this. If you did not feel this way before, than there is no logical reason to think you will always feel this way later.
It is therefore only temporary, it is only emotional, and it is exclusively a mental health issue that can be resolved with time and effort.
My therapist used to say feelings are not facts. And that has always stuck with me. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I’ve been where you are now. It was a rough year, and there were rough times long after the divorce was finalized. It took me a while, but I picked myself up, found new friends, and got back out there. The best thing you can do for yourself is do things you love to do, and try to meet new people. Staying in your house and ruminating on all the ways your life sucks is probably the worst thing you can do for yourself. Keep your head up, there are people out there that do care about you, and probably many more who will once they get to know you. You just need to find them. <3