former bed side nurse here on sick leave till the end of the month. I should start my new job away from patients with normal working hours on October 1st.
I feel drained, even though I eat and sleep well, the best I’ve slept in months, my circadian rhythm is that of a normal human being, I can cook, go shopping, I even play some hobbies now.
Nobody yells at me or makes passive aggressive or backhanded remarks for me to hear.
The 1st. of October is a week away and I don’t believe I’ll be a fully functioning human being by then, most probably I’ll ask for a 2 week sick leave extension.
what worked for you to go back to your normal self?
Hi. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Over 12 years in therapy, about 10 years into my professional career. Can speak at length as to what goes into burn out, but you don’t care. You’re there. You need help getting out.
The absolute most maniacal piece of the puzzle is that everything (and everyone) is telling you to do less of what’s burning you out and to make more time for rest etc.
Rest is important. Let me make that clear. However:
If you were to add exercising daily, and also add an hour or two dedicated towards a hobby every day, this will counterintuitively reduce your burnout symptoms.
As a person who keeps their work and personal email inbox empty, believe me, I know the advice is nails on a chalkboard. I seek 0 chaos. Adding to chaos surely won’t bring me closer, right?
Wrong.
The paradox here is that “adding load” in the form of exercise or a hobby is not the same as piling on more work. It’s giving your brain and body different inputs… Psychologists call this “recovery through detachment and mastery.” You unplug from the stressor while engaging in something meaningful or physically beneficial, which recharges your coping capacity.
yes 100% this. in CBT, they would say to “take actions that are in line with your values.”
your values aren’t your morals or your beliefs - they’re the things that make life worth living. what’s really important to you? when you look back, what is the thing you value most (or will regret not having done)? find a way to do something that feeds into that.
your job isn’t you. for most people, it’s just some shit you have to do. your values are you. and they should be your first priority.
That’s all great advice… if you actually get the time and physical room for it. Which many people don’t. It’s just rise and grind, rinse & repeat, any pause meaning homelessness or worse.
It’s simply not true, and a convenient excuse we make for ourselves when we’re burnt out.
It does not take you 4 hours to commute either way. And that assumes 8 hours sleep.
The overwhelming majority of people have 3-6 free hours every day.
Burn out takes up to two years to recover from, so a few weeks is really not enough to recover.
Consider watching this video (or don’t, it did make me cry when I was needing to leave patient care).
so I’m going to have a way to work and sustain myself while doing some therapy?
Did you do therapy or simply started your new job and somehow your brain forgot that part of your former life? Talked to friends?
I’ll watch the video now
It will take a year or so to recover.
Don’t give a fuck attitude going forward is a must.
You are trading time for money. Nothing else.
Allow yourself to get bored so you can start doing hobbies again
Don’t give a fuck attitude going forward is a must.
I’m gonna have to ask you to explain here:
I stopped giving a fuck about my coworkers 2 weeks before calling in sick, like, fuck them and I hope they burn in hell. If I ever have to set foot at that god forsaken piece of shit ward I’m calling in sick again. Fuck em.
I also don’t give a fuck about any of my former managers.
I don’t want to to say I don’t give a flying fuck about my current hospital, because I’m staying with them on a different role until I find something better, which may or may not happen, but it’s a clock in clock out and I’m fucking done with you and fuck you asshole situation
you suggest not giving a fuck even going forward? but I do need to give a fuck not to lose my new position until I have secured a newer one, right? I don’t even know if I’m going to hate the new position away from patients as much as the ward.
you other 3 bullet points are great though
Seperate your mental state from your job.
Obviously do your job as required but bare minimum. Don’t get emotionally entangled with coworkers and subjects.
They are all NPCs, not real people, that’s how corporate world operates.
That also means the flip side… Zero animosity, just business. Nothing personal. It takes practice but once you get there. All that shit just slides off like tefflon.
People won’t like you for it but you won’t care.
Like I said, it will take a year. But first step is to acknowledge how inhumane these conditions are.
People won’t like you for it but you won’t care.
actually, some unidentified coworkers complained I’m not friendly and the way I speak is demanding.
My former supervisor seemed to care about this because she came to me with these accusations, repeatedly. I still don’t know if this something big enough to fire somebody.
I don’t care, don’t give a fuck but apparently hr does…
I have no advice, I’d just like to congratulate you on leaving a toxic work environment. A lot of people ask for coping advice that will help them tolerate their lousy job, when what they really need to do is get the hell out of there.
Rest for the mind. Anything that lets me not think and just kind of exist.
Long baths with nice-smelling bath bombs, meditation, even just deciding with intention “okay, this evening I’m just going to lay in bed and watch this set of YouTube documentaries that looks interesting, and if I fall asleep for a bit, I’ll just rewind when I wake up.” Put on an album and listen to it start to finish, and either let it wash over you or let yourself get lost in the little details.
I tend to “relax” by starting new projects, so finding ways to actually relax has been hard. If you’re a little bored and understimulated, you’re on the right track.
Good luck. Medical work is really, really hard, and I hope your new job is a hell of a lot better!
I don’t really know the context here, but what’s normal to you? Like, what specifically are you trying to get back to?
I don’t want to go to work dreading having to go to work, I don’t want to think about how I’m going to be yelled at, what snarky remarks I’m gonna have to hear, what coworkers are going to lazy around while I work and their sit on their asses, I don’t want to prepare a working plan for the day only to be completely ignored by a coworker that, while not my superior, feels and acts like it only because she’s been there longer than me.
I don’t want to go to work in fear.
this looks like PTSD now.
I want to go to work to do the job to the best of my abilities feeling rested, to do my pauses as stipulated in the contract, to avoid drama and go home.
