being fit becomes a way to signal discipline, long-term planning, a healthy lifestyle, competence, and so on.

Yeah but I think it’ll just be a more explicit marker of wealth instead, sort of how so much of fashion boils down to “how much are you willing to spend?”

This really just seems like “I want to complain about .ml” with extra steps.

I don’t care for them, so I don’t go there.

Open source projects will be used for things of which you approve and of which you do not, that is life.

Straight down the centre.

I was 34. But maybe a late emotional developer?

It’s funny, I was pretty much in your shoes (who cries at imaginary people?) For most things. Then covid hit, something flipped and damn, I’m pretty sure I’ve had tears in more movies in the last 3 years than the 30 before that.

I think it takes a wild leap to say that the guy who compared being friends and unable to date as smelling wine but not being allowed to drink it, what he really wants is the soulful bond of a romantic relationship in an asexual manner. That’s just a completely wild interpretation supported by nothing other than, I dunno, wanting it to be the case?

Exactly! “Hey, being a friend is great but not great enough that I value it if you won’t sleep with me!” And worse, the guy seems to know she’s in a bad place and is just “yeah, sure, but what about me??? I wanna sleep with her, she knows this and hasn’t acted on it so either lemme bang or gtfo, fuck your mental state.”)

Also, love the picture.

Maybe but I think you either really want this guy to be the good guy here or you’re not reading particularly critically. This guy makes an actual analogy of friendship as “like only being allowed to smell a fine wine instead of drinking it.” which is pretty gross, like the point of friendship is actually dating or nothing. (No one buys a wine to smell it, whereas most normal people can just be friends of whatever gender to be friends.)

And this isn’t a case of “she just doesn’t know how I feel!” as he states at the beginning she knows, so she is un interested or not in the right space.

And yeah, “You’re the one equating taking a girl out on a date with having sex.” because what most dating is about is a platonic hand holding?

I get I’m online and this place skews young, male and not particularly social but this is fairly goshdarn creepy. Like, is this guy unable to function around interesting women who have partners? Or is it just that this woman has the audacity to be single while he’s single and RIGHT HERE and they’re already friends so clearly she owes him? Ugh.

Edit: I don’t think Lemmy has enough women for a vibrant NiceGuys community but if you’re still on reddit, you should give r/NiceGuys a whirl. It’s kind of full of this self pitying “but I’m her friend, surely she should want to date me” kinda creepiness.

A) It’s not an analogy, it’s a summation of facts.

B) I would put heavy money says F Tony finds this person fairly attractive and bizzarely, this situation hasn’t arisen with an unattractive female friend.

C) I’ve been that asshole, I get it. But personally, a huge part of maturing from a boy to a man was learning the difference between friendship and romance, and that a friendship with an attractive woman who seems super compatible doesn’t mean a romantic relationship is the next or best step. (Also, how fucking shitty is this to our lady friends?) It’s a weird lesson and not one that everyone learns but my God, the world opens up once/if you do figure it out.

I’d like to be friends but only if we can have sex.

Doesn’t really sound like a rock solid friendship there.