Everyone saying, “You can’t, you can’t…” Idk. Just try, if you want. You don’t know until you try.

It’s hard to say exactly how it happened, but if I had to guess, it’s something that just kind of took root & blossomed during porn watching. While your brain is being flooded with dopamine & rewarding you, which then causes you to seek out more of the same. Maybe it’s partially a shock factor thing, sometimes shock & disgust can sexually turn people on.

But I agree with that one guy, this is something that needs to be psychologically explored & understood. Do some research, see a shrink. Maybe they can shed some light on why you feel this way, why that turns you on.

…fuck…that is very hard. This is not your relationship, nor did you cheat, and their problems have now been made yours(ish). I’m sorry you’re caught up in this.

That said, your mom raises some excellent points & personally I’d be inclined to live with her. She is correct. But we must also acknowledge that she is way too close to this situation & is blinded by hurt, rage; women are prone to making decisions based on emotion & not logic, reason. How much more when she is cheated on.

The fact remains, this man is your biological father. Personally, I think it is time to reassess the depth of your relationship due to his adultery. But to cut him out entirely, forever is kind of stupid, too. That is your father. You only get one father. Your relationship to him is different than your mother’s relationship to him. You can distance yourself & react appropriately to his impropriety without…completely destroying the ties of family. It will hurt your father’s feelings, and you know what? I think he should have his feelings hurt. A little. Understand, he threw your mother away, treated her very badly.

But what’s done is done. This is the family you have now, and you have to decide what is right for you. If you don’t leave your father & distance yourself at least a little, she’s right, you do condone his actions & you’re hurting your relationship with your mother. If you care about that. But I would keep those lines open, and your mother will fuss, but explain to her that is your biological father & you have made the decision to keep in contact with him. That is your right, as his child.

Back when Wicked, the musical, was brand new & the hot topic & it was just so so cool culturally speaking – my high school choir was going to take a field trip day to go & watch it live in a big city. 🤩 Time off of school, going to this cool musical, it’s a no-brainer. Right?

My parents told me I couldn’t go because there was a 20-25% chance of snowfall. Combined with a significant 2+ hour commute, there was a chance I wouldn’t make it back home by 6:40 PM on a Wednesday night, and that would cause me to miss the hour long 7 PM Wednesday night church services. 🥴🥴🥴🥴

Not even Sunday morning, most of everyone’s day of rest. Wednesday. Night. Services. Couldn’t even take a chance on missing that. That was…“special”… 🙄 Religious brainwashing at its finest!

I try to be generous in my readings & assign to others…grace & the best of intentions. So! I take what your parents said and, while not eloquent, you could maybe read it as: they were more frugal in your younger years, saving money “just in case” or whatever. Now that more years have come & gone without horrible financial issue, they have an abundance of sorts, and they feel more confident about splashing a little more cash on you now, and frankly when you are of an age to appreciate it more. 🙂

I’ve seen people spend stupid amounts of money on newborns, 2-3 year olds, and it’s like…you know they won’t remember any of this. Right? 🤔 Same with very young kids, yes they’ll remember & appreciate certain things, but most of it idk is just kind of lived & lost. So your parents say that, and if it is in good faith with good intentions, I feel that. Kinda. I just wouldn’t articulate it like that.

LOL, that’s not even scripturally correct. He doesn’t know his own faith! 😂 This is common, and really sad when you think about it, because their faith is their “single most important thing” in life & they’re so damn ignorant of it. Like…it’s one book. Read it, if you are so inclined?

There is only one sin earmarked as the eternal sin, the unforgivable sin. Explicitly described in Matthew 12:30–32, alluded to in other relevant passages. “Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit”. Even blasphemy against the Son of Man (Jesus) will be forgiven…but never the Holy Spirit. Because it’s simply too big of a contradiction or discrepancy in how the Christian faith operates & how one is saved. You have the “power of the Holy Spirit” working through you, working with Christ & God the Father on your behalf. Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is largely interpreted as to deny that very power, the power that saves.

It is akin to needing hydration, but refusing to drink large amounts of any kind of liquid ever. Or needing an electrical charge to run a device, but never making a connection to transfer the power, you’re going to somehow “will” or speak the power into your phone. Well. That’s simply not how it works, and you’ll never have power.

I only explain to provide clarity of the Christian faith to others, I do not profess the faith present day, it has taken 25 years of my life. Others are welcome to comment, of course, but I’m not here to argue endlessly over “how many angels can dance on the point of a very fine needle”. As they say, and have done before, and has since morphed more colloquially into “on the head of a pin”. 😉