Speaking from my experience, I get very overwhelmed with empathy when someone close to me is going through something as difficult as an illness, divorce or job loss. I want to be as supportive as possible, but also know that there’s usually little to nothing that I can do, and then I get overwhelmed by the feelings of helplessness. I will let them know that I’m there for them if they need anything, and I will check in from time to time to see how they are doing, but I always find myself avoiding talking about the ‘real issue’.
I know that I’m included in the ‘people suck and are incredibly, inherently selfish’ - even knowing that, I have a hard time addressing it. Even when the roles have been reversed, after I lost my job and people stopped reaching out to me, I knew exactly why… I was making them uncomfortable and they just didn’t know how to deal with it. And even then, I had no idea what I wanted from them, other than for things to just be as they had been before.
Even after my own experience, when a close friend of mine lost his job I dreaded talking with him because of the helplessness that I felt at being able to do anything for him, and the reminder that at any moment I could be in his shoes again. It sucks, it’s a massive character flaw, and it is even worse that I’m aware of it but so far have been unable to change. I still love my family and friends, I just don’t know how to show them that during their times of greatest need.
A Newfie fisherman gave an interview… I’d love to hear that audio.
Edit: FOUND IT! And it’s as good as I was hoping: https://www.cbc.ca/listen/live-radio/1-31-labrador-morning/clip/16149859-whats-water-a-rare-iceberg-spotted https://www.cbc.ca/listen/live-radio/1-31-labrador-morning/clip/16149859-whats-water-a-rare-iceberg-spotted