Aside from the vowels a e i o u (which are special) and also the pseudo-vowel y, the rest of the consonants roughly split into a few kind of groups. The -ee endings (b, c, d, etc.) is the most common, but there is also e- (like s, l), -ay (like k), a- (like r). There’s also some weird ones like q (kyu) and the worst offender is “double u” (w).

If the pronunciations of the consonants were standardised, what should be the new “standard” for pronouncing them? Should it be -ee, or something like -ay? How would the alphabet song sound?