There is this girl I like, she knows I would like to go on a date with her someday. She isn’t sure what she wants at the moment. That’s all fine but I genuinely begin to develop feelings for her. And I just don’t really care all that much for a friendship anymore. It screws with my psyche, it’s like only being allowed to smell a fine wine instead of drinking it. (bad analogy, but fuck it)
I’ve had enough. I just want to tell her I don’t like seeing her on just a friendship level any more. And if she doesn’t see me as a romantic partner, which is totally A-okay fine with me, but it will mean I’m walking away from this friendship all together. At the same time I don’t want to force her to make a decision (she sometimes has trouble saying no). And here’s the real son of a gun, she is highly suicidal and takes endings of friendship badly (as she herself has said).
So does anyone have any advice to spare here? Yes, I’m a terrible person so think of it for her sake. Because the friendship is going to end, one way or the other.
Why do you want to be in a relationship with someone who you don’t like?
Honestly it sounds like the opposite. I’ve been there before… having feelings for someone but not being able to act on them. Feeling complete jealousy when she begins dating someone else, it can fucking hurt big time. People can say it’s selfish or whatever, but honestly the feeling can tear the hell out of someone, and it’s better for both parties to cut ties.
However it is really tricky to handle it. Because you can’t let it sound like an ultimatum (IE sleep with me or I’m out).
IMO the only real way to go about it is, shoot your shot. Ask her officially on a date, if she would like to consider taking things to a relationship level. If she seems not to want it, I’d try and fade out the friendship slowly. IE actually make yourself busier. Commit to more events with other friends, pick up a time consuming hobby etc…
Most friendships drift apart anyway. If you want to spend less time with her, start spending more time on something else and let the friendship burn out the natural way they tend to do.
I never said I didn’t like her. It’s quite the opposite.