5-minute oil change is a lie. The car ahead of me has been in there for over half an hour. I cannot leave because there are cars behind me, blocking me in. I think this lady has seen more filters than an AC repairman.
Update: Car ahead of me took 50 minutes. I pulled into the bay and sat for 10 minutes. They did nothing and I finally left.
They typically intend (and indeed, try to) use their machine to suck all the oil out of the dipstick tube and replace it via the same. That’s generally doable within the 5 minute allocation but it’s also only half of the job since that inevitably involves not replacing the oil filter.