Eat less and count calories. If you’re getting < 1000 calories a day, you’ll almost certainly lose weight. And when I did it, it was a keto diet, but I couldn’t say whether keto is a dumb fad thing or legit, just that that’s what I was doing when I lost weight. Mostly because protein calories kept me feeling fuller longer. But that feeling of hunger is also the feeling of a calorie deficit.

Agree with beer. Now I’m slightly snobbish about beer, but it’s still generally not my favorite. Stella Midnight Lager and Yeungling Black & Tan are really good though.

I used to have to drink hard stuff to get drunk enough not to taste the beer. But eventually I got there.

Other than that… not really. When I was growing up, I hated tomatoes and onions. In the army, calories were calories. Throw everything on that salad. Now I like them. But it wasn’t really voluntary and I didn’t set out with that goal.

There’s a reason Santa is tracked by NORAD.

(No)

What I was trying to convey was that being married to the wrong person left me depressed and feeling like a failure. It wasn’t the marriage, it was being with the right person.

Can’t speak for them, but it increased my confidence and reduced my depression. But I’ve been married twice and the first one was very much not this. It has to do with the right relationship, not just being in one.

No. But also I don’t really make any effort. I see the drama my wife goes through with her close family and I don’t need any of that. They are just strangers who share a relative with me.

No ill feelings, I’m just no less awkward with them than other normies.

If it’s funny enough without being mean, I’ll upvote.

I was working part time as a tutor in a community college. I had applied to work for AT&T or maybe Ameritech as a tech. It would’ve been a very good job, but I had to start training full time around late April or May. I had some students that were really relying on me to help them prepare for finals. I asked if they could put me in the next class, but they said now or never, so I told them I had to turn them down.

They gave no shits, of course, but it was a big deal to my students. And the school that was having trouble staffing math and electronics tutors. It changed the course of my life, but things turned out just fine, eventually.

This conversation would’ve gone much differently had they not stuck to their principles.

Sure. No kink shame. I don’t like to spend time on prep or cleanup. I’m definitely not spending big on something my hand does well enough. But I can accept some people find it worth it.

It’s not the fucking a thing I find weird. It’s the investment in time and money. But I also find it weird (but delicious) to spend 12 hours cooking a brisket because that’s a lot of fucking work for a couple of meals.

Worst case scenario, me calling something weird is a pot and kettle situation.

A sex doll can’t do anything my hand can’t, plus it’s expensive as fuck and then you have to clean it. And look at it when you aren’t jerking off. At least your hand can be used for other things.

If you are superficial and care more about validation and agreement than partnership and empathy, I imagine AI is great at that. I’ll bet there are a lot of folks that want nothing more from a relationship than AI can give. And they are apparently happy and probably making other people happy by not making them find out the hard way what they are about.

I love computers, but the thing I love is increasing efficiency and solving puzzles. But I’m terrible at building things and I’m not great at hard kinds of math. I also have ADHD, and without my meds I’m pretty useless.

I think I’d just be an alcoholic and sometimes laborer — probably with missing digits or something. That was a depressing train of thought.

At the time I didn’t think I was good looking, but compared to the guy staring me back in the mirror I was looking pretty good.

Took me from a young man to an old one. Do not recommend.

Oh it’s a great comparison. Sorry if that didn’t come through clearly.

I’ve built furniture before, and stopping before sanding and painting is definitely a thing. It’s a lot of work and you literally can only fuck it up while you’re learning. Finishing a piece is a lot of work when you know you are going to spend years apologizing for how badly it sucks. While an unfinished piece is functional for like 1/3 the work and it’s not pretending to be finished so you can’t really be disappointed.

I think the metaphor you chose is apt. It just doesn’t really address the point in quite the way you were thinking.

Withholding, I think.

The trick is to know if you are withholding for good reasons (because there are lots of times you should absolutely shut the fuck up) and bad reasons (when you need help) and… complicated reasons (you need help and have a legitimate fear the person may not be supportive).

At the risk of reading too much into this…

Any time I hear someone mention sharing their deepest feelings with someone, my experience is it’s because they want to tell someone they love them but the other person is not into them for some reason — usually being with someone else, or not attracted to your gender. Should that be the case this time, you are withholding for good reasons. Keep your mouth shut. I have never ever seen that go well. It will not go well.

I suppose I would say you don’t just strip down and go at it. Generally you start with affection, proceed to foreplay over clothes, then under them, then remove them. And at every point you have the ability to just stop there if you’re uncomfortable going further. That’s a sign that you just aren’t ready with that partner and that’s okay.

Even after you’ve done it once or twice, you generally still follow the same process and you can still stop at the point you’re uncomfortable. Just because you did it once doesn’t mean you need to again or on any particular occasion.

It’s not until you’re married a few years that you reach the point of, “I have an early day tomorrow. If we’re fucking tonight, best get to it.” And skip all the foreplay.

If you asked me to pick a different name remaining a guy I don’t think I could without a lot of thought.